fit-preppy-gent:

Breakfast dates should be more of a thing

(via emo-tionalcreature)

tardis-mind-palace:

kaliforhnia:

Tell him you’re excited to have his last name and then marry his brother

This is some Shakespeare level shade

(via introverted-explorer)

baddiebey:

how are the civilians in the marvel universe surprised by anything ever like every time something happened i would just be like

“there they go wit that bs”

(via confirmance)

caseyanthonyofficial:

twofingerswhiskey:

a11ysonwonderland:

*points to bedroom* This is where we frick frack.

*points to kitchen* This is where we snick snack.

*points to living room* This is where we kick back.

*points to bathroom* This is where we shit shat.

*points to couch* This is where we chit chat.

*points to computer* This is where we click clack.

*points to shelf* This is where we knick knack.

*points to sex dungeon* This is where we paddy-whack. 

What a truly awful website this is

(via charredfairy-deactivated2016122)

officialunitedstates:

me, showing off my university degree: that’s right everyone, i paid multiple dollars to the government in order to attain sporadic sprinklings of knowledge that i forgot two months after each class ended

(via stressisabless-deactivated20180)